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I awoke from a dream I awoke I awoke I awoke to the magic of a voice Singing a hymn I've never heard The voice of a woman Was what shook My tired spirit awake A woman's voice was Singing Singing to me within my dreams I was lying fetal On my couch With a newly wet canvass Upon the fabric My drop sheet I had lied down for a rest A rest from the above A rest from my thoughts I no longer seem to be able to share Through language To share through my voice I was calmly woken By the singing of a voice In my head Surrounding my shoulders Off to the right A woman's voice sang me a tune of hope She sang And I went dancing with a hand in a million cities Was this voice my own spirit Reminding me Who What Where When Why A voice from my dreams Sang me awake to remember All that I long to shelter All that I long to experience All that I have been neglecting Why have I become the woman I am? How am I to shine How can I look above at my minds eye And see nothing within How can I continue to betray My heart My spirit My goal My love How can I continue to be a woman Afraid of the past Fearful of the future Without a glimpse of hope For now I am reminded of this voice today During the language of the rain I am reminded that only I am keeping My dreams at bay Only I am the one who has ceased to believe Through out my life I have blamed my lack of faith In myself on the adventures That life laid out for me I have blamed lack of belief In myself On those who have attempted To curse my love Yet it is I Who has never known how to believe In my own I am reminded of vanity While reading The unbearable lightness of being Recently I have questioned the words that come out of my fingers To ink I have ceased to believe in them For fear of what another may question For fear of which Temptations may arise I am the only one cursing my right to love freely Through my fear of the temptations that I long to remember I've been questioned I've been feared I've been the one who has allowed this to happen Only because I have not lived according to my own Philosophy I have questioned beauty because I forgot to see the beauty I've questioned beauty because I wanted to live in reality I wanted to live according to those found within the screen I've wanted to follow the leader I wanted to be the last standing survivor Sweetheart I tell myself Sweetheart I long for you to be that way again I long to dance with my hands in a million cities I have been overcome by fear This fear is my own It has not been put upon me by anybody else but myself Sweetheart wherever you may be I am here Blessed but naked Naked but sheltered Sheltered and scared Scared because the above is nothing I no longer wish to live a life of Ignorance I wish to utilize my mind I wish to love my body I am not allowing the child within to grow up. Sweetheart I come to you only a phone call away The only constant in our lives is the rain I've gone out to get cigarettes The rain has become my shelter I cry To cry I cry wandering through the rain Then there is a purpose for the smudging of my mascara Reminding me of in the fifth grade I cried My excuse then was that I was allowed to wear make-up Now my excuse is nothing Now that I cry I cannot pretend that I am wearing shadow For now I am a woman And my shadow has become my make-up The rain gives me the excuse to cry openly For I can blame the rain For my eyes to look wet Instead of vain circumstances My face is cold Signifying my allowance of the rain to become The shelter of my tears Now I long for the rain it shelters my emotions it hides my vanity it forgives my laughter of the absurd I'm home now Outside my windows The sound is magical An orchestra of forgiveness Joy ceases to be a mask Calm replaces anxiety My faux-poetic nature Is pardoned My vanity My pride Is no more I am only me here Allowing the heavens to conduct my pen Allowing the water To cleanse my nails I dirty With the paint of my soul It clean With the soap of all spirit The breeze reminds me to stop To dream To remember hope The rain is the shelter of my joy For I know The sun will come In the form of brilliance I will always be able To find my way home The pot of GOLD At the end of every rainbow Is LOVE revealed I awoke from a dream I awoke I awoke I awoke to the magic of a voice Singing a hymn I've never heard The voice of a woman Was what shook My tired spirit awake A woman's voice was Singing Singing to me within my dreams I was lying fetal On my couch With a newly wet canvass Upon the fabric My drop sheet I had lied down for a rest A rest from the above A rest from my thoughts I no longer seem to be able to share Through language To share through my voice I was calmly woken By the singing of a voice In my head Surrounding my shoulders Off to the right A woman's voice sang me a tune of hope She sang And I went dancing with a hand in a million cities Was this voice my own spirit Reminding me Who What Where When Why A voice from my dreams Sang me awake to remember All that I long to shelter All that I long to experience All that I have been neglecting Why have I become the woman I am? How am I to shine How can I look above at my minds eye And see nothing within How can I continue to betray My heart My spirit My goal My love How can I continue to be a woman Afraid of the past Fearful of the future Without a glimpse of hope For now I am reminded of this voice today I set out to share it with you To repeat it as necessary To repeat it Because all women need to hear this voice The singing of the souls I have set out to share my story of this song with you So that you may remember your own song This voice has come to me while I was in a dream On a hill Far away from a stage Watching a woman sing her songs I turned to see the lights of the performance I was reminded of my sensual nature A man walked past me I was on the hill Standing free My hair long behind me The wind lifting it towards The trees Asking for the birds to play I was standing on a hill With people sitting around me A creek between us and the exhibition I turned my head To the left and The images ceased I begun to be only in my thoughts I begun to experience blackness I heard a voice singing A woman's voice singing Through the blackness Between dream state and wakening She was reminding me of my life She was reminding me of my soul A woman's voice was singing me awake Guiding me through the dark Guiding me through my excuses A woman's voice sang me awake And I went dancing With my hand In a million cities I thought of Paris |
Funny it feels like 4 in the afternoon I'm standing in my kitchen ---Wondering--- "What am I going to say to you?" I stand here now I feel your eyes on me your eyes on my deceptive body Standing here... In front of you Now. I feel your eyes on me Your eyes are focused the tops of my shoulders down my arms You. Capturing a sigh a question Unknowing whether to love or to hate me The process My mind continues to wonder to find words to explain my red hair my dainty waist my stuttering, stirring smile my down belows to share with you hope. Is it understood? While I'm here under lights feeling moisture on my thighs I stand here to deliver to you a piece of writing that will change our lives ---A small moment--- The moment between your eyes returning to my mouth and their blinking before you decide to love me or hate me I return to my kitchen Its blue walls Its swimming pool effect on my psyche Sitting on my donated leather love seat Wondering which of you would like to share it too I take another bite of my crumpett pause chew wait What is left in me to share with you When I've given it all to him All of my naive poetic pretensions All of my silly songs made in the shower my legs spread my voice changed lines read I gave it all to him Phone calls at 3 am my dreams disturbed Pursuing his game I gave it all to him I wandered I left the page the need to find something new within my dream to give to you While I'm standing here under lights, Exposing the raw truth of my spirit I have nothing left to give Though once our time is done my speaking your gazing My wish is for silence to return to hear the beating of hearts the quietness of whispers |
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